031024 i can't handle change

i'm becoming the "friend who can't handle anything" omg ive just been so out of it recently and it's been messing me up so bad like i feel shitty all the time... i think it's stress-induced because ive been intensively working on a school research project and it's seriously taking the life out of me. i feel kind of burnt out and just low energy and mood in general

i've been trying to rest and get some enrichment time outside of school which i have been doing successfully thankfully so it's not as bad as it could be! i think i'm doing my best to cope and all things considered it could be much worse. also my research project is really fun and interesting - it's a chemistry project about water purification and antibiotics removal in wastewater hehe and it's all in all really fun to do labwork ... except when i actually have to use my brain lol

i'm quite busy these school holidays so apart from my research project i also have an internship coming up! it's at my local national parks board and ill be helping out in the living collection branch aka arboriculture!! so fun omg honestly i don't have much experience in this area so im excited to learn more and try out new things. also i just love being in nature awehghah

oh also i recently started volunteering at this local farm slash commune and omg it is the most fun thing ever! again i love nature and the community is so lovely, but this experience definitely made me realise how tiring farm work can be lol. i don't think those people online who talk about wanting to move to the countryside and start homesteading realise how laborious it is... it's hours of manual labour in the hot sun and seriously is backbreaking work.

okay and idk if i've shared this before but my life dream is to start a farm LMAO it sounds so lame but i'm thinking it'll be part of my semi-retirement/retirement plans. or if im lucky enough, ill get to do some of that earlier. i know it's such a crazy commitment so i still have my doubts but it's not like i'm in any rush to decide anyway.

it's the weekend now and unfortunately i have so much work to do it's crazy. arhhadjhgjkdhkj im so sick of this

- j